Ghosted By My Inbox
A TV Freelancer's Life
After 14 busy years freelancing in UK television, my inbox is now ignoring me.
I’m not what you’d call overly needy, but I would like a bit more attention.
Remember in Bridget Jones’s Diary, when her answerphone abruptly informs her “You have absolutely no messages. Not a single one. Not even from your mother.”
That’s now the soundtrack to my inbox.
For Bridget, the silence came from waiting for a man to call, and while waiting, she formed a more meaningful and reliable relationship with two guys called Ben & Jerry. Ice cream providing more security than her ex.
For me, a freelancer in the UK television industry, the silence means not enough work…and an increasing amount of anxiety. A situation that’s been going on for a couple of years.
What’s Going On?
The reasons for the downturn are complex. I’ll leave the full analysis to better minds, but it seems to be a complicated mix of not enough money, evolving viewing habits, and a bit of AI thrown in for good measure.
So far, I’ve kept away from Ben & Jerry. Maybe because I was one of the lucky ones still getting work – for much of the time. But now? Now I’m very much hunting for the next role. My ice cream of choice would be this stuff Booja-Booja Ice Cream - the better-than-dairy kind.
Back To Work (Kind Of…)
Life lately has felt like I’m repeatedly auditioning for a guest spot on the podcast How To Fail With Elizabeth Day because I have failed, over and over again. Failing to land that next contract.
Like dating, there have been some promising leads. A little bit of banter. A little bit of chemistry. But more often than not — ghosted.
Opportunities disappear as quickly as they appear. Cue hours of staring at your phone, as if eye contact alone will magic up a job offer. Spoiler: it doesn’t work.
On one particularly bad day, I spotted an unread email, felt that flicker of hope, only to discover it was a link I’d sent myself and forgotten about. Breadcrumbing myself. Yes, a pretty bad day.
When dating gets hard, or your heart gets broken, you can step away and regroup. Hit delete on the apps in an act of single defiance.
Eating your body weight in ice cream is, of course, always an option.
But when it comes to work, stepping away isn’t so simple. The bills keep coming. And while work rejections shouldn’t feel personal, they often do.
I’m reminded of another dating rejection line from one of my all-time favourite shows, Sex and the City: “He’s just not that into you”. Exactly how it feels when the job offers stop rolling in.
Failing & “Pivot”
As Elizabeth Day herself says, “Just because you fail, does not make you a failure.”
I’ve saved this quote.
Apparently, Dyson had over 5,000 failed designs before hitting the jackpot and making millions. And talking of making money, Stephen Bartlett’s company even has a Head of Failure. Someone whose actual job it is to champion failing. Last time I checked, Stephen was doing pretty well. So…failing can be good?
Of course, failure can teach us valuable lessons and build resilience. Admittedly, in the moment, learning lessons isn’t the number one priority. You’re just getting through the day (or month).
For me and many others in the same situation that might mean trying to stay in a permanently changed industry. Or….pivoting.
Pivoting is being talked about more often than Ross yelled it while shifting a sofa up a flight of stairs in Friends. “Pivot!”
Career pivoting can feel as challenging as manoeuvring a sofa around a tight bend. Even if you’ve got some friends to lend a hand.
What to pivot onto though? Childhood dream of becoming a musical theatre star?! I’m honestly not sure.
I may use the transferrable skills I’ve built up over the years to pivot into something new. TV people are, by nature resilient, and with a unique ability to solve problems at breakneck speed.
Solidarity To You If You’re Staring Down at an Empty Inbox
If you find yourself refreshing your inbox more than you should, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Our inboxes may be ghosting us, but let’s believe the messages will return. And if you need a pit stop for a scoop of your favourite ice cream along the way, that’s just fine.
Bridget Jones did eventually get her happy ending…even if things did take a tragic turn. (RIP Mark Darcy.)
Is your inbox ghosting you too?
Have you ever had to pivot careers? How did you navigate it?
As someone whose been trying to break into the tv industry, not sure whether to feel reassured or scared that that people who have been in the industry for over a decade are unable to get work… 😅thank you for sharing your experiences.